Straight
Talk: The Goods on Sex and Sexuality
Public Display of Affection:
How much is too much?
Sex
and sexuality is a broad topic with many issues.Through this digest I am hoping
to shed some light on a few of those issues.This particular digest takes a
look at public display of affection.
You’re
at the cinema.A couple sits down in front of you. The woman rests her head
on the man’s shoulder. He kisses her hair. They hold hands. Subtleties soon
give way and halfway through the movie they appear more interested in picking
the leftovers out of one another’s back molars than in the movie’s outcome…
Public
display of affection (PDA) can best be described as a show of affection between
two people who care for or love each other in a public place. It could be as simple as a mother hugging her
son or two friends holding hands. However,
we usually think of PDA in a more sexual sense. Holding hands, hugging, petting and kissing
are all forms of attachment. The essay
A Case for the Public Display
of Affection as Deep Ecology by Portia Brockway examines a couple’s use
of PDA. It is a thoughtful piece and
it started me thinking about the importance of PDA in a relationship. It seems to be an integral part of a couple’s
relationship. You can almost read what
a couple knows each other by their willingness to commit PDA.
Many
schools have guidelines setting limits on PDA for students. The article Public
Display of Affection Often Abused at School gives us insight into how one
student feels about the rules imposed by her school. These rules, introduced to children during
their school years, often seem to echo into adult life, creating uncomfortable
feelings at the sight of PDA.
Public Display of Affection by Klaus Gropper
That
uncomfortable feeling some people experience at the sight of PDA can also cross
cultural boundaries. What is acceptable
to people in one culture may not be acceptable in another. A Long List to Remember provides
insight into how affection is viewed in
We all
know what PDA is. We have all seen
it. We have all done it: When we held an
aunt’s hand in the supermarket; when, as children, we kissed each other goodbye
in the middle of the street; when, as adolescents, we let our boyfriend (or
girlfriend) hold our hands in the theatres; and when, as adults, we kiss our lovers
before they board a plane. We have all committed the act of PDA.
So how
much is too much? Much depends on how we
were raised. Did we see our parents
commit the act of PDA? What were our
schools’ guidelines regarding PDA and what were the unwritten guidelines in the
culture we grew up in? These are all
important in determing how much is too much when it comes to PDA. In the end, it seems the question of what is
too much is better put another way. How
much PDA do you tolerate? Your tolerance
level provides you with your own gauge of what is too much.
So next
time you are sitting in the theatre and that couple mentioned earlier sits down
beside you, see how long it takes for you to get uncomfortable. Really, really
uncomfortable. Now you know how
much is too much. At
least in your eyes.
There are many interesting articles about
PDA on the Internet. Here are a few
more:
Public Affection Needs
to Be Toned Down from Offensive Forms
The Do’s and Don’ts of
Public Displays of Affection
Thoughts? Is there an issue about sex or sexuality you’d like to see discussed in a forthcoming digest?
E-mail me: